I must admit, I found these marriage ingredients on Dave Willis's website: http://davewillis.org/7-ingredients-that-make-a-healthy-marriage/
He really put together a great foundation of "ingredients", and I couldn't agree with him more! I give full credit to Dave for this post, I just had to share and include some of my own personal thoughts along with his (my thoughts being the bold-brown text).
He really put together a great foundation of "ingredients", and I couldn't agree with him more! I give full credit to Dave for this post, I just had to share and include some of my own personal thoughts along with his (my thoughts being the bold-brown text).
1. Laughter.
I believe that laughter is the lifeline of marriage. In good times and bad, you’ve got to be able to laugh with your spouse. A marriage with no laughter is a sign of a marriage in deep trouble. Find reasons and ways to laugh together. (I whole-heartedly agree with this. I would also include, minimizing how much we laugh "at" each other. Teasing can have it's place and fun, but too much can bring corrosion into a relationship.)
2. Communication.
Between the two of us, my wife and I have 3 higher education degrees in Communication and we still have to work at communicating well in our marriage (like with most things, she’s a lot better at it than me). It doesn’t come naturally for anybody! Every husband and every wife has to be intentional about being a good listener and clearly communicating. Spend more time going on walks, going on drives, going out to dinner and being in settings that promote conversation.
(This takes constant practice! My husband and I have been together 8 years, attended counseling, and while we've gotten much better, we still have our moments. The biggest keys to good conversation I believe are: listening, asking questions, and say "I" instead of "you" - simple ex: "I feel angry" instead of "You make me angry".)
3. Sex.
Right now, all the guys are thinking, “Why wasn’t this number one?!” Sex is vital to a healthy marriage. It’s a God-given gift to promote oneness, intimacy, and pleasure (in addition to procreation). Make sex a priority. If things are healthy in the bedroom, everything starts getting healthier. (Sometimes it can be hard to make this a priority especially when one person is tired, or not in the mood, but freely giving yourself to your spouse is a gift in itself and can make a positive impact on a marriage.)
4. Friendships.
In to many marriages, the wife has her set of friends and the husband has his and they rarely or never connect socially. You need “couple friends” that you share together. My wife and I have always had a Small Group through our church and those relationships have been a great source of laughter, joy and encouragement for both of us. (My husband and I are very lucky to have a combined group of friends. Rather than separating us, hanging out with our friends brings us together. While I love and enjoy occasional "girl days", it's wonderful to be able to have fun with my husband next to me, and build memories together.)
5. Goals.
Couples shouldn’t just plan together, they should dream together. Without common goals and dreams for each other and for your family, you will be like a ship without a compass. Dream big and help each reach those dreams. (Perfectly said!)
6. Celebration.
When goals are reached or milestones achieved, spouses should celebrate together! Your marriage should be full of moments of celebration. Celebrate together privately and find ways to celebrate life’s victories and moments with your extended family and friends. Even in life’s toughest seasons, there are still plenty of excuses to have a party! (This is so true! My husband recently turned 30, and as a gift, I took him to his favorite band's concert. While I expected him to be excited, just the act of going out together to celebrate brought a renewed sense of closeness, like those feelings of first dating. So I 100% agree, find reasons to celebrate!)
7. Faith.
If these were in order of importance, Faith would easily be at the top! God invented marriage and without Him, I’m convinced that no marriage can be what He intended it to be. Pray together, study God’s Word together and allow Him to direct your paths. He is the one who can hold you together even when the world feels like it’s falling apart. (Without faith, I can honestly say, I would not have the beautiful marriage I have today. When my world was falling apart, and I was weak, God kept me strong. The results were blessings I couldn't even have imagined. Have faith in your marriage!)
